Dwelling on all of the bad things that happen to you can cause you to develop a "victim of life" attitude, an attitude that leads you to see only the negative sides of things. Thinking about all of the things you do not have can make you forget how many blessings you do have, until eventually you end up feeling that your whole life has been a bum deal, and that nothing good will ever happen to you. In a sense, if you walk around with a "poor me" attitude, you really do have nothing, for even your greatest blessings will be no good to you if you cannot see or appreciate them. It's the old story about viewing the glass as either half-empty or half-full -- your choice affects whether or not you will happy with your life. Someone I knew many years ago once said to me, "When you have ten bucks, you're poor. When I have ten bucks, I'm rich," and he really meant it. He was a guy who was always inches away from being broke -- a situation that would depress most of us -- yet he was one of the happiest people I've ever known. Life was fun to him; he fully enjoyed each and every day, and made the most of whatever he had. Why is this person able to go through the day smiling even when he has less than other people have? And why are other individuals glum and miserable despite the fact that they have lives most people would envy? It's because LIFE IS ATTITUDE. Quite simply, if you make up your mind to be happy and to savor even the small things, ANY day can be a good day. Now, the purpose of learning to appreciate life more is not to suggest that you should accept negative circumstances without trying to change them for the better whenever possible. The message here is simply that you do have a choice in how you feel, and it's entirely up to you whether you experience life as full and rich or empty and meaningless. You can always find something to be annoyed or disappointed about if you want to: the weather, a slow driver on the road in front of you, the mail doesn't arrive on time, you discover that the milk in your refrigerator has turned sour, and a hundred other things that happen during any given day. Conversely, if you choose to look at things from a different angle, you can always find many things to be thankful for today. Plus, you always have the promise that, no matter how bad things might be today, tomorrow can be better. When you are "in love with life," when you can genuinely appreciate the experience of living, you have the ability to feel good no matter where you are and no matter what you do or do not have. Learning to appreciate all that you have and all that you are does not change the circumstances surrounding you all by itself, but you will FEEL almost miraculously as if your entire life has changed for the better. Practicing the “Attitude of Gratitude” can do profound things for you: Gratitude puts you into the mindset of LOOKING for the positives in life, which in turn increases positive THINKING, which in turn increases positive FEELINGS. If you are busy appreciating each thing in your life, you will become a happier person, for that is actually the secret of happiness -- enjoying whatever is going on in your life in the present moment. As an additional bonus, the happier you are and the more positive your attitude becomes, the more your social life will improve. You will attract more friends, because people naturally enjoy being around someone who is smiling, upbeat, and radiating positive energy. And, of course, everyone likes to be appreciated, so the more you appreciate others, the more they will enjoy your company. When you walk through each day with an attitude of true appreciation, the whole universe will begin to open up for you, right in front of your eyes, because you will feel more connected to everything around you. And after all, the true essence of spirituality is this feeling of being connected to all of life, and of loving all that you encounter. The following exercises can help you begin to awaken these kinds of feelings. EXERCISE #1: Make a list of everything in your life that you are grateful for having. Include everything that comes to mind: Your health; the fact that all of the many organs and systems in your body function properly. Features you like about your body: your nice teeth, your pretty hair, whatever. Your skills and talents -- can you write poetry? Are you good at math? Do you know how to grow vegetables in your garden? Are you a good cook? The people in your life: family and friends who love you -- what you do cherish and appreciate about each of these individuals? A pet who loves you unconditionally and is always happy to see you, even when you have bad breath and you’re having a bad hair day. Your material possessions: your home, your car, your furniture, your appliances, the pots and pans in your kitchen, your clothes, etc. Your environment: depending on where you live, there might be pretty trees, a lake or ocean, the song of birds, a neighbor’s flower garden, and so forth. Local sites you get to enjoy: a nearby park, favorite restaurants, a place to ski, all of the stores where you buy your household goods, the movie theater, and so forth. Your entertainment: favorite TV shows, favorite books and movies, favorite music, and so forth. Memorable experiences: the trip you took to Paris, the perfect summer day you spent at the beach last August with your best friend, the time you saw your favorite singer in concert, and so forth. Make this list as long and as detailed as you possibly can. Then, if you’re ever feeling down, or going through a time in your life when nothing seems to be going right, take out your list and read it. It will remind you that your life is blessed with incredible abundance. EXERCISE #2: Another good way to develop an attitude of appreciation is to sit down at the end of each day and write down at least ten things you were grateful for that day. These things could include a tasty and nutritious meal, or a good friend, or the fact that the day went smoothly and you felt peaceful, or a book that taught you something valuable, or the fact that you had enough money in your bank account to pay the car insurance bill, finding a good parking spot at the mall, and so forth. (I’ve been keeping a “gratitude notebook” for three years now. At the end of every day, I write down everything I am grateful for that day, and it has really changed my perspective by helping me look for the GOOD in my life.) Try it and see -- if you spend one entire day taking the time to appreciate EVERYTHING you have and use throughout the day, you will feel like the wealthiest person on earth! EXERCISE 3: Get into the habit of thanking everything in your life for the contribution it makes to your well-being. This may sound nuts, but I often say “thank you” out loud to inanimate objects in my life for serving me so faithfully. When I arrive at a destination safely, I will thank my car for doing a good job. When I turn off my stereo, I will thank it for playing the music for me that I wanted to hear. I thank the plumbing for providing hot and cold running water. I thank my stove for cooking my dinner. I thank the soft cozy blankets on my bed for keeping me warm in the winter. Develop the habit of APPRECIATION. When you get up in the morning, thank your body for serving you so well; thank your heart for beating, and your lungs for breathing, and your eyes for seeing, and so forth. Give thanks for your food at every meal: thank the earth for providing the food, thank the farmers for growing it, and thank the food itself for providing you with nutrients and sustenance. When you drive to work, thank your car for getting you there. When you sit down to watch your favorite movie, thank the producers, directors, actors, and crew for making this movie for your entertainment. And so on. When you get into the habit of acknowledging all the good you have in your life, EVERY day becomes a GOOD day. Appreciate all of the little things you take for granted, one by one, day by day. If you stop to notice and give thanks for all that you have been fortunate enough to receive, you'll find that you get more pleasure out of all situations. And, when it comes to the people in your life, giving thanks to them for all that they have given to you will not only help you appreciate them more, but will make them feel better as well -- a double benefit! EXERCISE #4: You can also heighten your appreciation of what you have by sharing your bounty with others. Whenever you pass along part of your good fortune, you are creating a chain of energy that expands the good fortune, a chain that allows it to brighten more lives that just your own. Plus, you'll find that when you share something with others, it makes the thing you've shared seem somehow more real, more tangible.