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THOUGHTS ARE THINGS by Dena Moscola |
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Did you ever feel out of control? I believe everyone at some point feels out
of control on some level. This is especially true for many when it comes to
eating, for example -- such as when you finish a meal or a snack and say to
yourself, “I can’t believe I ate all of that!! Why did I do it?” This shows
how you unconsciously make the wrong choice and then criticize yourself for it.
It is an endless battle. This is why change is so difficult at times.
Often, the change needs to take place on a deeper level to be most effective. This can only happen at a rate you are comfortable with. Awareness is the first step. Being aware that it is time to convert the negative unconscious thoughts over to more positive, productive thoughts is the beginning of the process. The next step is to move away from the reason and towards the positive solution in order to bring the fastest, most productive, long-term results. Our unconscious mind has a tendency to move in the direction of its most dominant thought, whatever that thought may be. Good, bad or indifferent, what we focus on, we will move towards. Think about the last time you got excited about something. Chances are, it was on your mind often. When you thought about it, you got excited! Whatever you were doing became easier or more enjoyable because you felt good. Now take a moment and think about a time when you were worried, upset or angry. How did you feel? Happy? Of course not. The negative energy from the thought led you to feel unhappy or less comfortable. You moved in the direction of the negative thought. Respecting the fact that there is a time for all emotions, even negative ones, it is most helpful to remind yourself that the amount of time you hold onto negative thoughts and feelings will determine how you move through situations. Your feelings, caused by your thoughts, influence your actions. So, it is up to you. You ARE in control of your thoughts. The challenge comes when your emotions become dominant because you are focusing on them so heavily that they cloud your logical thinking to the point where you feel out of control. That is an ILLUSION! Unfortunately, those thoughts will create feelings that will be influencing your actions. Why? Because we move in the directions of our most dominant thoughts. So, the solution becomes paying attention to your thoughts and consciously deciding when to let go of the negative ones to create positive ones and feel better. Then you can move forward easier and faster. Did you ever get stuck in unexpected traffic that caused you to be late? What were your thoughts while being delayed? Were you extremely tense from the frustration of being out of control? Did you worry about what would happen if you were late? Were you obsessively concerned about those who were waiting for you? Did you feel a sense of failure or inadequacy because you need to be punctual? If you said “yes” to any of the above, you were going overboard with negative feelings, and that only causes you to feel worse. If you said “no” to the above, you most likely experienced a feeling of disappointment for the unexpected delay and compassion for those waiting for you, but you accepted the fact that these things happen sometimes. You knew you would handle the situation as best as you could once you got there, because that was realistic. That realistic choice was also the most productive. I reflect back to a time I got stuck in sudden traffic that turned the freeway into a parking lot for two hours. Instead of worrying about the meeting I was late for, since I couldn’t do anything about it, I CHOSE a different thought. This was in the days before cell phones, so calling the people who were waiting for me was not an option. Fortunately, I had my briefcase with me, so I did paperwork. Ever since then, I carry some extra work or reading material, in preparation for unexpected delays. Since we now have cell phones, you can now use these times as an opportunity to return phone calls or check e-mails. Be productive. Get your mind off of being frustrated by a situation over which you have no control by taking control of your thoughts. Ask yourself the following simple questions:
Simple and elementary. This is why we often ignore these choices -- they are
too simple! But they work. And the reward is worth it. Be creative. Be
prepared. Be productive. If you can practice this principle on a daily basis,
you will create a very strong habit that will NATURALLY kick in when more
challenging times surface unexpectedly. You will find that you are able to more
easily take control of your thoughts, which will influence your feelings and
allow you to then react more calmly and productively during stressful times.
Ask yourself, “How can I change my thoughts to start working more for me,
instead of against me?” The choice is Yours! GO FOR IT!
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