Why do so many of us continue to seek relationships even though relationships may have caused us great pain, sorrow, and disappointment? I believe that the answer is because what we are actually seeking is the wonderful feeling that comes from being connected to the Divine/Universal Consciousness, and deep down inside we intuitively know that one way to connect with this greater energy is to "fall in love."
Love is the highest power in the Universe. It has been called the answer to every question, the only thing that truly matters. I also believe that it is the lack of love that is at the root of all of the world's problems. Certainly there would be no wars if everyone loved and respected their neighbors. And certainly the environment would not be in such critical shape if all people loved and respected the earth. And most individual problems can also be traced to a lack of love: When we are disconnected from a true feeling of Love within our souls, a void is created inside ourselves. We become depressed, or we distract ourselves from our inner boredom by watching TV, or we chase after money and status and material possessions, or we use alcohol or drugs to "numb the pain" we feel inside, or we completely stress ourselves out by working 12-hour days in the belief that "success" will make us "worthy," or we obsess about our looks and go on diets and get plastic surgery in an attempt to be "perfect" so we will be "lovable." However, none of these misguided attempts to make ourselves feel better really work, because nothing other than "True Love" can actually eliminate the emptiness inside.
By "True Love," I do not mean "finding that one special person who will make us happy." No mere human being can fill this void; no individual can make another person happy. So why then are relationships so desirable and important to us? It is because relationships can serve as a catalyst that leads us back to Divine Consciousness. When we "fall in love" with someone, it triggers a series of reactions that put us back in touch with the energy of Universal Love: Our hearts open, and suddenly the entire world looks rosy, and we go through the day smiling, and we feel optimistic about the future, and we find it easy to be nice to everyone we meet, and we walk around in a profound state of happiness.
The good news is that once we realize that we do not need to be in a relationship with another person in order to experience "True Love," we can begin to create love right now, today. The goal, after all, is to grow in positive ways and reach a level of happiness, health, and inner peace, with or without a relationship. (It's funny, but it's one of life's paradoxes that the more we work on making ourselves happy and healthy, the greater our chances of actually finding a quality relationship, for we become much more attractive to others when we are open, positive, and happy.)
So, how do we "get" to this grand and glorious love state? The key to getting love is to give love. It's another one of life's paradoxes that the more we give love away, the more love comes back to us in a thousand different ways. So strive to take a stand each day to open your heart, become filled with love, and send this love out into the world. Every day, practice loving each and every living thing (including yourself!) as if he/she/it were sacred. For in truth we are all sacred.
If you need a "jump-start" in getting Love Consciousness to begin flowing through you, try some of these ideas:
* Smile at people, wherever you go. It's amazing how something as simple as a smile can open people's hearts and create a connection.
* Whenever you meet someone, ask yourself how you would treat your own cherished grandparent, brother, sister, or child. Now ask yourself, how would you want others to treat your loved ones? Remember that everyone you meet is someone's grandmother, or child, or sister -- so do for them what you hope others would do for your own family.
* You know how people get caught up in the "Christmas spirit" every December, and for about a month we all go out of our way to be nice to each other and to spread good cheer? Well, don't waste the other eleven months of the year. Pretend every day is "Christmas."
* Read books that inspire you, whether they be spiritual/religious books, or books on positive thinking, or books about role models who have brought love and light to the world.
* Learn how to meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways I know to reach higher states of inner serenity, bliss, and Divine Oneness. Meditation can benefit you on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
* Make a conscious effort to make others feel good about themselves. Compliment the chef when you have a nice meal in a restaurant. Send a letter to a manager to let them know how friendly and helpful a particular customer service representative was to you. In short, whenever anyone brightens your day in any way, no matter how small, give them positive feedback. And especially, work to raise self-esteem in the children in your life.
* Don't take your loved ones for granted, and don't wait until after they're dead to say "I wish I'd told them more often just how much they meant to me." Tell them now, and tell them often. Tell them in person. Write them letters. Send them cards. Make sure they know how much they are loved.
The above are simply some suggestions to get you thinking. There are lots of additional suggestions on this website about how to be more loving in the world, all of which can help you connect to the Divine Love State (click here for more information
). Do whatever it takes to "activate" the love flow inside of yourself, for the more time you spend in this state of mind, the more joy will fill your soul, and the more you will attract loving people and situations into your life. (Copyright 1996 by Doria Gambino, www.MetamorphosisMagazine.com)